[x]

If I knew how to warm up the empty spaces in me.
Complete bridges over vast abysses shamed into me.
The guilt is mine.

The cold is freezing the wetness within me.
Look at me warming my body on the streets of insecurity.
The dishonor that is smothering me, It's mine.

Faces screaming at my stench.
Crawling on my elbows in this human wreckage.
I'm drowning in my disgrace, it's all mine.

Could you just sit here with me.
I can be pretty on my knees, just don't leave.
Losing my grip on pride, was it ever really mine.

If I could remember my name.
Would you still call me whore, tramp, slut?
Debased and numb learning not to bleed, this b

Stagnation

Stagnation

Inside this void
of absolute absence.
Beside this dreary
kind of hapstance.

Around the block
and then back again.
Back and forth
you pack and unpack again.

You change your mind
then your mind is set.
You've set your goal
but your goals not met.

You're stuck inside
this stagnant prison.
You plan escape
you take it on like a mission.

You have got to fight
for this freedom vision.
You have to hurry
while it's still your decision.

The Heavens Weep

The Heavens weep and
Chilling rain cascades
Grey tones abound as
The golden sunlight fades

To the verdant earth
The raindrops fall
Their simple beauty
Holds my soul in thrall

I stand unmoving
Alone within the rain
Adrift in solitude
Free from care or pain

My vision obscured
Calming hidden fears
I taste the beauty
Of Nature's tears

its just a dream

.

it's just a dream

i am accosted
by the images of former lovers
standing in front of me
dark forms
waving accusing fingers
telling me i am a fool
and behind them
raging technicolour
the images of them and their new loves

melissa and jason
standing atop a grassy knoll
fireworks at twilight
arm in arm
and mouth to mouth
they celebrate independence

kristen and teddy
curled up outside
in each other's arms
staring at the sky
and dreaming of the future
as the night explodes with colour

kelly and jason
the sand between their toes
as she leans back against his frame
an

Like Father-Like Son

I am Melancholy Madness, bruised upon the shadows of your fist.
Hold me down and punish me for all these made up trespasses I've committed.
Tell me not to be so weak as I cry myself to sleep.

I am Shattered double paned glass pulled one by one out of my back.
Shove me through closed doors, windows.
Tell me I deserve each minute of each impact.

I am Demolished Self Esteem, you taught me well.
Crush me under your tongue, with each syllable of your breath.
Tell me I'm ugly, who could love me, not you.

I am Your Daughter, Your Sister, discarded to the floor by your arms.
Break me beyond repair, use me as your catharsis while

Summer Verse

Children with a hose
Stealing rainbows from the sun
While his back is turned

In My 15th Year: wed. 3:00 pm :
I'm lying in bed where I've been for over a week only getting out of it to eat a bit and use the bathroom.
Into My room comes my best friend and her teammate from the vollyball team.
They ask me why I haven't been in school, how I am...
I say I'm sick and maybe I'll be back soon.
They leave.

: wed. 3:30 pm :
I decide I really can't hide in my room forever no solitude.
I decide.

: wed. 5:00 pm :
Waiting for my stepfather to leave.

: wed. 7:30 pm :
He leaves and I am alone in the house and I will be until after midnight.
I leave my bedroom, head to the bathroom with the broken up daisy razor (pink).
I'm wearing a

Rivers Converge at the Sea

Rivers Converge at the Sea
by jsenn

I read that
all rivers
flow into
the sea and
it occurs
to me that
this water
is the same
water that
swells then
ebbs in
moon driven
tides to
lap at the
shorelines
of Sweden
and Alaska
Australia,
and Japan;
flows
in rivers,
lakes and
ponds; forms
of melted
winter snows,
still lakes
reflecting
sky like
mirrors on
great
mountaintops;
drips from
limestone
cathedral
ceilings
to form
pools within
underground
caves;
filters
through the
earth's
crust, boils,
then spews
upward in
great
fountains
through
fissures at
Yellowstone.

It's the

yourwordsflowfromyourfingers

.

your words flow from your fingers

your words flow from your fingers
water from the green garden hose
washing the dirt of time from my boots
these words
cleansing my soul
(tranquil)

your words flow from your fingers
a wash of ink upon the page
darkening the noon sky with your emotions
these words
chaining me with you
(melancholy)

your words flow from your fingers
trailing across bare flesh
raising goosebumps on my skin
these words
kisses in my mind
(erotic)

your words flow from your fingers
clouds floating across the night sky
these memories of yesterday
fraught with emo

fade to grey

.

fade to grey

the sky is dark with shades of grey
as i
staring out the dirty window
contemplate my life
and what i have become
a simple-hearted man
(so complex)
a life of indecision
a life of complication
(as i make it so)

the night is dark with shades of grey
as i
wander aimlessly across the grass
think on my existence
and what i will become
a man of good intentions
(so easy to deny)
a life of melacholy
a life of emptiness
(for i make it so)

for am i more than just
a player in this movie
a pawn in someone else's game?
my life a mass

Words are never Innocent

What can start off so harm-less and innocent
Can so quickly turn into a macabre dance of emotion.
A joke meant to laugh at and gloat in humor
When turned on it side spells embarrassment and anger

Small words used off handedly
Become all to quickly forceful backhands
And while pride and self-esteem heal ever so slowly
Time can wither any sense of compassion

And I sit here all day and all night
Thinking about the touch of your soft skin
And how your cheeks color and warm as my fingers brush them
And those light eyes that may never see me again

Tearful apologies do no good when trust isn't in the air
And the glorious sadness builds

no where.

No where

I lift the blinds a few inches

just enough to see
through a thin band of sky

power cables
roped across the clouds

a robin's red
breast and wings

roots
growing upwards into grass

and a cold feeling
rushes on
and lingers

chilled past the blood,
within the nerves

like a festival-goer
stuck
on an amusement park ride
that has locked itself
at the eleven o'clock position

watching the asphalt,
swaying
and wondering
what are the odds
the cage will slip loose its bolts
and fall

the chill passes
and reveals
an underlying absence

a faded brass land

no time for one last chance

.

no time for one last chance

bleeding bitter tears
suspend the indecision
grip the blade
just make the incision

watch

as dark blood flowing
stains your eyes
pulsating in endlessness
this is our last goodbye

turn away

arterial punctuation
this deadly heartbeat
tears across the flesh
drips upon the judgement seat

close your eyes

clutch at the moment
silently march on
in this parade of chaos
the end will not be long

just wait

you made the sacrifice
burning desire fleshless
blood stained secrets
nothing to confess

eyes visionless

murder weapon held fast
in white knuckled hands
the b

Dear Reader

Dear Reader
---------
This letter I addressed to you.

Dear reader,
read this closly,
between the lines
of fiction and fact
reality and mirage
love and lust,
and perhaps you'll get something
out of it, a piece to carry
with you, so that this letter
does not mold and rust,
like my memories, lost forever
in this time-lapse that is
love.

A time lost can never be
found again.
And yet, I find myself
searching,
over and over,
until I've turned my life
inside-out, upside-down,
looking for shred of evidence
that that time did exist.
And yet when I find nothing
I am not surprised, but rather
I am composed and regal,
finally

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the beauty that is

the beauty that is

listen
to the beauty that is
captured in the blueness
the expanse
of the ever stretching sea
the walls of earth
dropping off
into nothingness
grains of sand
that fall away
to the unforgiving water

listen
to the beauty that is
the miles of uncharted forest
its green fingers
reaching
to the sky
its lands untouched by human hand
crossing mountains
and plains
until it reaches the sea

listen
to the beauty that is
and return
to yourself
changed

august 4, 2001
9:55 pm

the call of the loon

the call of the loon

the call of the loon
low
haunting
me in my dreams
echoing across the water
craning it's long neck
to hear it's own reply
empty
in longing
mourning for a past long gone
before the time of man
a wilderness unspoiled
by the virus
that is humanity
spreading itself across this planet
blotting out all that stands in its way
going
unchecked
as it destroys
and so the loon
makes it's lonely call
to the darkened skies
for help

august 4, 2001
9:40 pm

crossed feelings

crossed feelings
for amanda and brian

two hates
have grown
to love each other
maybe just the burden of life's hardness
has brought them together

co-habi-what?
living together so soon after their
first kiss
how long can it last?
they barely know each other
and the time they have shared
has been filled with hatred
up 'til now

two hates
have grown
to love each other
brought together
by the hardness of life
thrown into each other
by circumstance

august 2, 2001
10:15 am

like fireworks

like fireworks
for melissa and jason

the came her to this place
to watch the fireworks
tiny shooting embers
flying into the sky
and exploding
in bursts of light
and color
and he took her hand
as they stood on the hill
two silhouettes in the
ever changing light
and as he went down on one knee
his alterier motive was revealed
the bursts of light were forgotten
as the words slipped from his mouth
and the ring sparkled on her finger
and the answering kiss
was like fireworks

august 2, 2001
10:00 am

observations 1

observations

the veins on herhands
betray her age
the blue green
contrasting
against the paleness of her skin
and the face
once so young
has begun to wrinkle at the edges
the smile wearing lines into her flesh
and while the sparkle in her eyes
behind the horn rim glasses
remains vibrant
her body fades
giving to the agent of time
long ago her hair began to fade
it's color only coming from a bottle now
her glasses slide down her nose as she talks
and the picture on her desk
stares back at her
and the man in the frame
doesn't care what she looks like
to him she is always
beautiful

august 1-2, 2001

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some dance to remember

by `spunj13, May 23, 2002, 11:06:10 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

.

some dance to remember

she rests her head in her hands
       wet with tears
coursing through her fingers

shoulders that shiver
       shaking in pain/regret
unwilling to let go
she lingers on

they hold her world
       caught in brokeness
and beneath the neon glow
       of monitors
       and television screens
shining in empty store windows
she spreads her arms
       inclusive
a reality that hurts too much
let the falling rain
       cold and alone
wash across this shiv'ring child

her feet stepping 'cross cobblestones
       turning round in circles
hair sticking in threads

as she dances to remember
       she dances to forget
closing her eyes
she dreads the future

may 24, 2002
2:05 am

some dance to rememberby `spunj13

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

this was inspired in part by a long conversation this evening with an anonymous person ('cause i chose to make them anonymous) though it really has nothing to do with what we talked about...it made me think of a fictional situation...and if you look closely..i even used a little bit o' rhyme (and of course there is a pattern...though it may be hard to find...)

//spunj13

~starryangelicus Jul 24, 2002 Student Writer

So descriptive... Very emotional.. Well written. I can picture it. So sad... *goes off to cry in her corner*

~syncretism Jun 18, 2002

i could attempt to say something along the lines of how the poem was beautiful...use terms of english and literature...
...but that's not what i do
i think in images, not words...but what is contained in your verse sprawls pictures across my mind...
...it etches out a scene of being both afraid to live and yet craving so desparetly to feel

~belletrist Jun 5, 2002

Awe-inspirering, eloquant, emotional ... and beautiful.
-----
AvH. Com --> [link]

~couchfry Jun 5, 2002

i still can't fully grasp the way how you express moments like these so vividly making us think we're actually there experiencing it alongside your subject. i'm still at awe at your talent as i always am when reading your pieces.
somthing that stood out to me is how you've got two pieces in one, the pushed in lines when seperated from the whole create a whole other piece. love it man, great piece Thumbs Up

i've run out of thumbs :( (Sad)

-----

in two months

~ooempteeoo Jun 5, 2002

wow i really love this poem
i think i'm going to have to check out more of your work..
but in the mean time, ::favs:: ((feel loved!))

~dissolvegirl Jun 5, 2002

Like Alison, I think Hotel California.. Damn my mother for rearing me on the Eagles.. :) (Smile)

Kidding aside, this is a breathtaking poem. I love the form.. Such awesome work.
-----
Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. [link]

`keen Jun 5, 2002 Writer

mmm... the form lends a touch of the unique to this! there is a plainspeak in this piece that lends a nice, easy read. Thumbs Up

-----
-----------------------------
Weekly Deviant: faithwalker [link]
-----------------------------

~summerdies May 31, 2002 Writer

Very well visualized! The emotion seems to float below the intense images affecting them positively without stealing their vividness. She dances to remember the pain or forget what the future holds? Very nice.
-----
Dreaming as the summer dies

!namaste May 30, 2002

very vivid, chilling and soaking but tender just the same. nicely done.

~5t3iggy May 28, 2002

amazing writing, full of emotiong. I love the whole feeling of this poem.
-----
5t3iggy Horns

.:I decided i want you now i know...i need:.

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some dance to remember

some dance to rememberby `spunj13

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