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making up for lost time by `spunj13:iconspunj13:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Emotional




.

making up for lost time

i can see you

head buried deep
      within your hands
your fingers
      coarse with hair
           (cascading)

and at your feet
      (ringless)
the phone is off the hook
while your tears fall unbidden
      and you dream
of making up
      for lost time






december 17, 2002
5:17 pm
©2002-2009 `spunj13
:iconspunj13:

Author's Comments

i was listening to full collapse (the album) by thursday and a line stuck out to me... something about the phone being off the hook...and i got this picture of a girl sitting by the phone with her head in her hands crying...and the phone is on the floor...but off the hook...

//spunj13

Daily Deviation

Given 2002-12-22

Rare is the devartian poet who can share with us five masterpieces in the space of an evening, and much as I'd like to feature the caboodle's entirety, I'll settle for mentioning my favourite of the five; spunj13 's making up for lost time is a thing of whelming beauty, simplicity and good ol' commonplace tale with fresh gusto. Read! :) (Smile) Stamped with the deviantART seal of approval by `pachunka (Selected by ^faithwalker) (Featured by `faithwalker)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconc4rri3:
~c4rri3 Dec 17, 2002, 3:06:26 PM
Im gunna add this to my favorites just cuz it makes alot of sense to me :) (Smile) Sounds like something Ive done, or do alot... great job :) (Smile)

--
"If I could, I would fix our wrists together in such a fashion that God, Himself, couldn’t tear us apart" -goodbyetomorrow
:iconakashka:
~akashka Dec 17, 2002, 3:30:34 PM
yeha makes a lot of sense, its very "taing my heart" if it means something, it made me feel...

--
Enter the realm...
:iconignite:
`ignite Dec 17, 2002, 3:58:57 PM
full collapse= great album. thursday is great.

"and you dream of making up for lost time."
:iconhyper-psycho:
`hyper-psycho Dec 17, 2002, 4:56:22 PM
Damn thats great ... wonderful composition !

--
[ Gallery | dotCom | MySpace | Flickr ]
:iconevig:
~evig Dec 17, 2002, 6:54:03 PM
Ye ye, it's great! :) (Smile)

--
"You may be a king, or a little street sweeper,
But sooner or later, you dance with the reaper."

-Evig >:)
:icon82deg:
~82deg Dec 18, 2002, 10:23:49 AM
Now that is ironic (and sad), the whole thing about the girl waiting/longing for that call, not realising that the phone is off the hook...

Yea, it does make a lot of sense, it's happened to almost everyone at one point or another, i'm sure...
Nice writing :) (Smile)

--
~82deg
:confused:confused?
Isn't it about time you seek him for the truth? I have.
:iconbreid:
~breid Dec 19, 2002, 7:40:47 AM
Great stuff. Creative fuel - the picture is strong and rife with implications.

--
There are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth
:iconn0deal:
~n0deal Dec 20, 2002, 6:08:22 AM
I love Thursday dude. What an amazing band.

This poem kinda struck a cord in me. I can picture a person very close to me in the same situation and there isn't anything either one of us could do to change it... or make up that lost time.

--
Lars-Erik Forsberg
|ArtPolitic Founder|
:iconskankinshorty:
~skankinshorty Dec 21, 2002, 10:00:29 AM
I have to agree with C4RRI3. and thats wierd cause my actual name is Carrie! wow imgaine that! anyways, its great and I'm right there with C4RRI3 on how it sounds like something i've done!

--
Carrie Berry :)
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